on post @ the skate canada competition

Superficially, I felt muy strut-worthy. I had my dri-fit Skate Canada long t-shirt, lanyard and id badge, black jacket with "MEDICAL" across the back, red First Aid arm band, a fanny pack with medical supplies, two walkie-talkies, and a head set. So I flashed a huge smile as the camera rolled past the medical personnel . Super professional.

There were no injuries during the 7 hours I was there, so I got to just sit back and bask in the skaters' awesomeness (at the rinkside... so close that I could've reached out and pulled them out of their triple axles! (buahahah)) ...pretty exhiliarating.

The performances were so aesthetically pleasing. The music was great too. And then it hit me - that as each skater broke out on to the icey stage, we were going to be witnessing the result of years of sweat and blood. That behind each smiling face, there were untold stories, there were sacrifices, and there are dreams.

I imagined the passion that each skater likely had burning inside of them. And I became really happy for them because it's a brilliant fire that, remarkably and unfortunately, the vast majority of us never find and get to experience in our lives.

As their blades made fresh cuts into the ice, I imagined the adrenaline that was coursing through their veins. Under the scrutiny of the skating world, how did it feel to know that each second over the next few minutes holds such incredible meaning and consequences? That it may be a career-defining moment, a showcase of their essence, a start of a legacy. I revelled for them as they executed their leaps and spins, and ached for them when they slipped.

I wasn't on shift when Patrick Chan came on, so I watched him on TV. Yeah, he wasn't on his game this weekend, but he's still soo young and green - tons of potential to grow. And he has such a chilled out and positive attitude... I've jumped on the Chantastic band wagon

DOING UP SKATE CANADA INTERNATIONAL 2009!!!

So you know, the final event of 6 of the 2009-2010 ISU Grand Prix of Figure Skating is held in Canada this weekend.

• U.S., Russia, Japan, Canada, etc etc
• One of the biggest competitions leading up to the Olympics
• High profile event - e.g. Patrick Chan is among the competitors!

Guess who got slipped in as one of the physiotherapists on the medics team?

BOOYAH!!

My C.I. is going to be there and she managed to get me in even though they normally do not have students covering the event!

I just got back from a meeting/orientation with some of the other medical staff and it's starting to dawn on me what a sweet opportunity I've been given. This gonna  be such an experience... serioussss... thankyouthankyouthankyou

But all glory and goodness out of the way, I'm thankfully on a shift that won't be broadcasted live. woo!

(almost) end of week 1 of placement 2!

Hello hello! I've been away from here for a lil bit now cuz I was so busy with school I didn't have much time to think about enough things outside of school to eventually stumble across a thought or two that I wanted to write about.

Hence, the run-on sentence due to lack of practice.

But I got to come home a bit earlier from work today so I gots some time to kick back in cyberspace.

PT placement #2 so far has been STELLAR. It's ortho, it's sports, it hasn't been my forte in the past, but I'm having a hella good time. I work under two C.I.'s this time, and they're both excellent - great teachers, easy-going, personable, and makes fun of me when I do something dumb instead of making me feel bad (unlike the *cough*certainother*cough*jerkfaceofaC.I*cough*I'vehadinthepast). It's a fun therapeutic setting, and it's a real supportive learning environment so I gets to feel the cogs of my noggin' cranking it.

...

Aiya I suddenly realize I'm extremely sleepy. Hahaha I need to nap... kay byes!

P.S. Right now I am enjoying a small timmy's double-double with timbits (at the moment, 10 chocolates, 5 strawberries, 5 honey dips)  Few things in life are more satisfying. nomnom

P.P.S. This is brilliant, check it out

i don't know... some moments like these...

Here am I, coarse-voiced but quietly singing to the old stuff of bsb (yes that's right, the Backstreet Boys, and it's none other than the Backstreet's Back album, chyeaa). It's past midnight... I didn't study as much as I would've like to today, but it's ok. My head still feels a bit hurty, but that's ok too. I'm feelin' this right now, and it feels nice.

It's been a taxing week that poked fun at my health. One exam, one OSCE, one major presentation, and one assignment. And with that, was the mix of being back in T.O. the previous weekend (which meant no work done, but happy birthday, g-ma! ), trying to find a place to live in Waterloo, obsessive-compulsively refreshing aircanada.com (among others) to book my flight to Japan...

Sleep count: Monday - 4.5hrs, Tuesday - 4.5hrs, Wednesday - 1.5hrs, Thurs - 1.5hrs
I have never pushed my body/brain that hard, not even when I was Neurotic-Amy back in undergrad. My cough that had started to get better the week before went into full-blast coughing fits by the end of the week (haha along with the rest of my class, we were a symphony). My head felt/feels like mush.

I guess it does sound like a horrible week. Physically, yes it was. But I was happy. (I am happy)
("It's humorous what they're putting us through, Amy. It's hell, but why let that bring us down? Why should we not continue to enjoy ourselves?!"... "That's exactly it, Jay! That's exactly it. I'm tired and I'm wired, but I'm happy"). The week had lots of moments just like that one that justified everything and kept that bounce in my walk. And besides, I am exactly where I want to be. I am so freaking lucky.

And I did better on my OSCE than I thought. Actually, I think it was my best OSCE yet. The exam went pretty well too. My team's presentation entertained the class, and brought comments from the prof that floored us and more than justified all those hours we poured into that project. The same prof whose brilliance has inspired me time and time again...

I got my 8.5 hours of sleep last night, and booked it to the library today (2 more exams and 1 peer eval this coming week). Did what I could with the headache I still had, but I was with a few friends at the library, and B and W were there too, so it was nice. And then I went home to have a yummy homecooked dinner with BnW (hehe), and kicked back the rest of the night. And listened to BSB, and chatted a bit on msn.

And here I am... :) I feel good. Thought I'd tell you about it.

oooh it's late. I'm going to bed. Goodnight!

my day as a paraplegic

... was a class assignment for my rehab course. It was a cool experience, so for those who are interested, I thought I'd give you guys a glimpse of what I saw and felt that day. The following is the reflection that I wrote (but I took out some parts that were written more for academic purposes and are less relevant to blogging-purposes).

“Whoa! Check that out!” A twenty-something year old leaned out of the passenger-side window and shouted as he and his friend drove past me. At that moment, I was slumped over my knees in my wheelchair, in the process of ab-crunching my way up the torturous hill on Oxford Street. Check what out? I thought to myself as I caught a glimpse of my insolent stranger speeding away. Was it my sweat stains?Was it the sight of my twiggy arms shaking in my attempt to propel my wheelchair uphill? Or was it all of the above, and he was entertaining the thought that I might start rolling backwards?

 

Whatever it was, he succeeded in making me feel self-conscious. Before his comment, I was able to push away that feeling by convincing myself that I would not be much of a spectacle. A young person in a wheelchair. It happens. If it were me as the passer-by, I would try not to pass any judgements as to what may have happened, and probably just carry on with my own tasks at hand. Evidently though, not everyone responds the same way, and it only takes one person to utter a few words to embarrass someone or otherwise affect their mood. And to think that this was just one day in my life. What happens to those who are permanently restricted to such assistive devices and are fed this kind of social input on a regular basis? I imagine that some might build an immunity towards these reactions, while others may incorporate it into their sense of self. Some might become resilient to the mockery, while others may become a victim to it and let it affect their sense of self-worth.

 

As therapists then, I think that we can play an important role in buffering our patients against such negative reactions.We can do so not only indirectly by helping them achieve greater physical function and independence, but also through verbal encouragement and reassurance that their injury did not bring about the end of the road for them. This reminds me of a talk I attended a few years ago by a paraolympian. He told us that his spinal cord injury did not stop his life, but simply took it into a new direction.He described how his life had taken a flip after the injury, but then told us how he was still excited for the possiblities that he had ahead of him, and how he would still continue to live fully and happily. The reaction that he received from the audience, which was made up mostly of people living with spinal cord injuries, was heart-warming.Everyone thanked him for the inspiration and for showing them the light at the end of the tunnel.Everyone left that talk smiling.As caregivers, we may also use such words, stories and attitudes to our disposal, and it is exciting to potentially be a catalyst for such renewed approaches to life.

 

The reaction that I received from that young man was only one incident, and I did experience many more acts of kindness throughout my day in a wheelchair.For example, as I was propelling up that same hill, obviously fatigued and struggling, two people offered to push me up the rest of the way.The first was a lady who was well past her middle-ages and would be visibly less able-bodied that myself if I were to stand up next to her.But she smiled and offered to help, and moved on promptly when I politely declined.The second was a cab driver who rolled his cab slowly on the street next to me to ask if I would like some assistance.I responded in the same way that I did for the first lady, and he also promptly drove off.Moments later, my wheelchair got stuck in a patch of gravel and I resorted to waving over a young man from a nearby bus stop to push me out of my predicament.When he noticed my waving, he smiled with a gentleness and rushed over with an eagerness that I rarely see in strangers his age.

 

I was endeared by my encounters with these three individuals.When I am in public as myself - an average-looking person with no obvious physical deformities or impairments, it is easy to get mixed into the urban jungle and disappear among the sea of anonymous faces.Especially in cities, we walk past one another with not so much of an acknowledgement of each other’s existence, let alone offer our reach to extend into each other’s daily lives. But then there are moments like these that reveal glimpses of the humanity and kindness that we do possess for strangers.I guess that that is one of the advantages of playing the role of an individual with apparent disadvantages – we get to experience a new type of social interaction that can offer such gifts.

[...]

When I was on the bus, everyone was courteous in giving me the space, and patient in giving me the time, to maneuver my wheelchair (with my haphazard wheelchair skills) into the designated wheelchair space.In a sense, many inconveniences of having a physical impairment are offset by the help that we may receive from sympathetic and kind strangers and loved ones. On top of that, I also appreciated how the lady and the cab driver did not fuss any more than they did in trying to help me. As they may have understood, many people, in spite of their injury, often still want to be able to as independent as possible.Many do not welcome pity and rather not be persuaded that they “need help”...

... the task of travelling a few blocks on London sidewalks proved to be no easy task on my first day out with wheels.Suddenly, each crevice and every slant on the sidewalk became a cause for caution. Going uphill was quite a physically demanding undertaking, while going downhill turned gravity into a monster that threatened to suck me into traffic. I learned that I had to get a “running start” in my wheelchair midway through crossing the street so that I would have enough momentum to propel myself back up on to the curb...

Upon arriving home, I realized that I lived in a wheelchair-inaccessible neighbourhood.The sidewalks were in very poor condition with wide cracks and lots of potholes, which proved to be dangerous as I almost fell off my wheelchair on a few occasions.The step-ups into the houses were too high for the wheelchair to go up, even after I removed my tippers.And in the process of trying to get myself to my door, I got stuck on my front lawn where the grass was wet and slippery from dew.As a result, I decided to stay on the lawn and waited for my sister to get off work.When she came home, she first tried to pull my wheelchair over the high step, but found that it was not safe, nor did she have the strength, to do so.Then, I asked her to piggyback me into the house, but as she was tired from work and knew that I actually had full use of my legs, she refused and (lovingly) asked me to fend for myself.Hypothetically then, I think I would have had to fall out of my chair and crawl into my house. 

[...]

 

Unfortunately, I do not expect that all of these accommodations are realistic for many people with spinal cord injuries (or other such physical restrictions) in many parts of southeast Asia.In an individualistic culture like the one we live in, independence is highly valued.I believe that that provided a strong drive for implementing a healthcare system that supports such extensive environmental modifications and personal skills-training programs.This system, in turn, allow such independence in spite of injuries.In contrast, collectivist societies makes up most of southeast Asia, where they pay less heed to achieving maximal independence. As a result, much of the accommodations that we have here are rarely seen in those societies. I once spoke with a physician from China who told me that he was very impressed with how accessible Toronto is. Never has he seen public buses that had ramps and special seating for wheelchairs.He said that, where he comes from, rehabilitation programs are scarce and the ones that exist are not nearly as comprehensive nor client-centred.On top of that, due to the population density, the streets and other public spaces in China are often crowded and virtually inaccessible by wheelchairs.Consequently, many people who are in wheelchairs are confined to their homes, are umemployed and have markedy decreased social activity.Essentially, the doctor described how many of these people are largely neglected by society.

[...]

 

As a whole, “accessibility” was the recurrent theme of the day during my experience in a wheelchair, and it was eye-opening to realize how many conveniences we take for granted on a daily basis.It was thrilling and fascinating to experience my every-day surroundings from a new perspective.From having sidewalk cracks gain new meaning to getting a extra look on the gentleness of strangers, the obstacles and reactions that I encountered has help solidify the magnitude of how much the world changes, for better or for worse, after a spinal cord injury.